I'm continuing my reading through the Bible in a year - finding things to speak about on the new video series Breadcrumbs - trying not to watch myself when each session is published because I find so much that I would change or redo or simply delete! It's a bit like the first time I heard my voice on a tape recorder - I think I was about 5 or 6 years old and had been asked to sing a song which I did without too much fuss BUT then, when I heard it played back and realised the truth about how I sounded I vowed never to repeat the performance! Try as I might I cannot shift that opinion!
So my plea is - please persevere and please forgive my inadequacy. Never have I been more convinced that in everything - I need the Lord. I need Him to speak through me, I need Him to give me the wisdom and the understanding - need Him to help me to overcome all of the doubts and to extinguish the fiery darts of the enemy and more than anything I need Him to help me to trust, really trust that He has called me to this and that He will do exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything I could ask or think - that He will use my meagre offering to bring about His purpose.
'As for God His way is blameless; the word of the Lord is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God, the God who girds me with strength and makes my way blameless?
He makes my feet like hinds feet and sets me upon my high places. He trains my hands for battle, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me the shield of your salvation and Your right hand upholds me; and Your gentleness makes me great. You enlarge my steps under me and my feet have not slipped.'
If ever I needed these words it was this morning and if ever I need this truth it is today.
He is my God and He girds me with strength and makes my way blameless - why? For His glory.
He sets me upon my high places and gives me the shield of His salvation - why? For His glory.
His gentleness makes me great - why? For His glory.
It is for His glory I write, for His glory I teach, for His glory I speak and for His glory I live and breathe and have my being.
It is all for Him - for people to see that He is such a Great God, so full of love and grace and mercy and compassion that He would take me, someone like me, fill me with the desire to serve Him and give me the way and the place to do it.
Praise God, praise my God - praise the Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.